The narrow road/path often untraveled.

[Phoenix Flame]

Why is it that the most-difficult thing you have to do in life is usually the right/better thing to do? What is that?

Thoughts?

Ideas?

Arguments? I'm open to all of em...I'm frustrated and besides myself with emotion.

Somebody speak!

[Hydra]

Me too. XD;

I can't say right now. Anna's pretty much fed up with me, because of the past, and the future we both know. I'm not sure whether to swoop in and save her, for it may be too late, or to let her go, and pray someone else can mend her up.

I do plan the first one, but then the second one may fail, due to the tragic downfall of the first. And you never know if the first may work if you do the second.

So, I'm pretty much stuck. I'm not sure which road to take.

[dappa]

Good question

I made a decision today about someone and its been tearing me apart emotionally.

I'll bounce back soon

[Doctor]

You know, very often in life I do not agree with that statement. The hard way out of anything for me has seemed to only do one thing; ruin my life entirely. I don't feel like disclosing a personal example/experience, but believe me, this is how I have felt about 99% of the time when it comes to making hard descisions.

But the few times that your statement has been correct has only been right in social relationships...I wonder if that has some sort of significance. You can take the easy way out on almost everything else, but when it comes to relationships, there's no easy way out...?

And Hydra, don't be like me and try to find an easy way out of your situation. I think that you should be supportive no matter what the circumstances.

However...it's YOUR choice to make, and I shouldn't barge in. Just do whatever you feel would be best, for her, and for you. Even if you worry about someone else, never forget about yourself.

[Hydra]

It's to the point where I can do anything for her sake. Even let her go, because it may make her happier than she is now, over the course of time. I, not anytime soon, plan to take any kind of way out that'd leave problems unsolved.

And Faust, the reason it doesn't work is because easy roads don't solve the problem. It just makes it go away. It can be gone for the rest of your life too. The hard roads make you work, and you have a better chance of failing, but you'll obviously have a better outcome than the easy road. Because the situation will be GONE, not forgotten. And you can remember anything you forget.

[Doctor]

It's to the point where I can do anything for her sake. Even let her go, because it may make her happier than she is now, over the course of time. I, not anytime soon, plan to take any kind of way out that'd leave problems unsolved.

And Faust, the reason it doesn't work is because easy roads don't solve the problem. It just makes it go away. It can be gone for the rest of your life too. The hard roads make you work, and you have a better chance of failing, but you'll obviously have a better outcome than the easy road. Because the situation will be GONE, not forgotten. And you can remember anything you forget.

I'm...not sure I quite fully understand. I'm still too naive, I suppose...I'm not sure, really. I would have nornally expected myself to comprehend something like this...but all I can do is stare at your words, over and over, and think of nothing else to say...for now, I can suppose that you're right.

And I'm sorry I tried to make a personal opinion about your relationship...it's none of my buisness, really. <_< I apologize.

[Hydra]

I guess it's a good thing you don't understand. Naivety can be great, when it's supposed to. When you're naive, you don't ever think about what you COULD have done. You dwell on what you HAVE done. And believe you me, dwelling on my "What If's" and my problems together, that's too much for ANYONE to take.

So being dumbfounded is a gift. You take the hard road, and never think about how easy the easy road is. You devote your time to what you want, and that's getting to the end of the road.

And it's quite alright Faust. =D Nothing to apologize for.

[Doctor]

I guess it's a good thing you don't understand. Naivety can be great, when it's supposed to. When you're naive, you don't ever think about what you COULD have done. You dwell on what you HAVE done. And believe you me, dwelling on my "What If's" and my problems together, that's too much for ANYONE to take.

So being dumbfounded is a gift. You take the hard road, and never think about how easy the easy road is. You devote your time to what you want, and that's getting to the end of the road.

And it's quite alright Faust. =D Nothing to apologize for.

Never in my life have I ever thought that being naive was really a good thing...sure, what you say is true...but, to me, being naive is a form of stupidity. Towards myself, anyway. I would never call someone else stupid if they were being naive. Argh, I don't know. ._.; I suppose that I'm truly dumbfounded now. X}

But if I AM naive, (and this can go for anyone else,) then does that always mean that I will take the hard road? Is it really such a good thing that I don't understand? Isn't it sometimes selfish to only be able to take care of yourself, because of something you don't exactly GET about someone/something else? I think that it's just too important that everyone SHOULD know...

I'm quite confused..

[Hydra]

That's the point Fausty. :3

Okay, imagine this.

Imagine you had a problem. Would you rather know every single thing about the problem, have the risk of over analyzing it, and too caught up in thinking about it that you never get the problem solved?

Or would you rather be stupid, not knowing, and have what's going to happen be a surprise as it happens? It'd be much easier to handle, since it's new to you, and you'd handle it with caution, but not too much caution. Whereas if you knew what would happen beforehand, you'd be overthinking it so much, you wouldn't have the chance to actually do anything about it.

Which is better?

[Doctor]

That's the point Fausty. :3

Okay, imagine this.

Imagine you had a problem. Would you rather know every single thing about the problem, have the risk of over analyzing it, and too caught up in thinking about it that you never get the problem solved?

Or would you rather be stupid, not knowing, and have what's going to happen be a surprise as it happens? It'd be much easier to handle, since it's new to you, and you'd handle it with caution, but not too much caution. Whereas if you knew what would happen beforehand, you'd be overthinking it so much, you wouldn't have the chance to actually do anything about it.

Which is better?

I guess I would rather not know too much beforehand...but answer me this; if you came across a terrible problem in which you knew nothing about, beforehand, at ALL, and could do nothing about it until it had completely changed your life, for the worse....and if you had known SOMETHING, even one little detail, you could have changed everything? Haven't you ever wished just once that you could change something that went wrong? Everyone does, don't they?

[Hydra]

I see what yer saying, minus for the worst part.

Only good comes out of situations like that. Know why? You're not as naive as you used to be. If you were so naive to let it happen to you, you wouldn't be a strong person, would you? Of course tragedies hurt. And I imagine on either road lies tragedy.

But only truly stupid people don't learn from their mistakes. They do the same thing over and over, and wonder why all the bad happens to them. It's because they let it. Sad things happen in life not only to slow you down. They're made to improve your point of view about it, so it doesn't happen a second time.

Which relates back to the naivety thing I said. If you're naive, you never see it coming, and while the hurt is much more worse than it should be, you have a chance of improving the situation by gaining insight yourself. That way, the hurt subsides(or at least lessens), while you come out of the situation a stronger person.

[Doctor]

I see what yer saying, minus for the worst part.

Only good comes out of situations like that. Know why? You're not as naive as you used to be. If you were so naive to let it happen to you, you wouldn't be a strong person, would you? Of course tragedies hurt. And I imagine on either road lies tragedy.

But only truly stupid people don't learn from their mistakes. They do the same thing over and over, and wonder why all the bad happens to them. It's because they let it. Sad things happen in life not only to slow you down. They're made to improve your point of view about it, so it doesn't happen a second time.

Which relates back to the naivety thing I said. If you're naive, you never see it coming, and while the hurt is much more worse than it should be, you have a chance of improving the situation by gaining insight yourself. That way, the hurt subsides(or at least lessens), while you come out of the situation a stronger person.

So in the end, you would end up being a little less naive, after all, eh?

But there are those who do not come out stronger...which brings me back to taking the 'easy' way out...a good example is committing suicide after a traumatic event, emotional or physical. I don't say mental, because I believe that whatever you think mentally has some sort of connection to how you feel emotionally, no matter how insignificant the feeling. Mood does affect the way one thinks, does it not?

But otherwise, you're right; in most situations, we can only learn and grow stronger from something that happens to us, to someone else...

[Hydra]

So in the end, you would end up being a little less naive, after all, eh?

But there are those who do not come out stronger...which brings me back to taking the 'easy' way out...a good example is committing suicide after a traumatic event, emotional or physical. I don't say mental, because I believe that whatever you think mentally has some sort of connection to how you feel emotionally, no matter how insignificant the feeling. Mood does affect the way one thinks, does it not?

But otherwise, you're right; in most situations, we can only learn and grow stronger from something that happens to us, to someone else...
In which case, they were too much aware of the situation to learn. In most cases like that, you know a little something about the outcome before it happens, or you always become stronger.

Let meh use moar examples! :O For example! (:D), a video game. Pokemon, even. You pit a level five Pokemon against a level 5 Pokemon. The battle is hard, because it's the same level as you. And yet, you gain a LOT from the battle, because it's near your limit.

Now, pit a level 50 Pokemon against a level 5 Pokemon. You can KO it in one hit, and gain little to no experience, due to you being beyond it's level.

See where I'm going with this? The only possible way you'd not gain anything from a situation where you're FORCED to learn, is if you already know. Let's apply this to the roads. I'll make it simple. ^_^

If you don't know what's at the end of the road, it's much more greater to get there, isn't it? And yet, if you know what's at the end, what's the point of going down it? You know what'll happen anyway. But there's no way you'd not know what's down the road, and have no reason for going down the road in the first place(this applies to the bolded statement.)

[Doctor]

In which case, they were too much aware of the situation to learn. In most cases like that, you know a little something about the outcome before it happens, or you always become stronger.

Let meh use moar examples! :O For example! (:D), a video game. Pokemon, even. You pit a level five Pokemon against a level 5 Pokemon. The battle is hard, because it's the same level as you. And yet, you gain a LOT from the battle, because it's near your limit.

Now, pit a level 50 Pokemon against a level 5 Pokemon. You can KO it in one hit, and gain little to no experience, due to you being beyond it's level.

See where I'm going with this? The only possible way you'd not gain anything from a situation where you're FORCED to learn, is if you already know. Let's apply this to the roads. I'll make it simple. ^_^

If you don't know what's at the end of the road, it's much more greater to get there, isn't it? And yet, if you know what's at the end, what's the point of going down it? You know what'll happen anyway. But there's no way you'd not know what's down the road, and have no reason for going down the road in the first place(this applies to the bolded statement.)

So...people who already know...they often won't come out any stronger in a difficult situation, if they already know what's going to happen...?

But something I have difficulty grasping is, those who are suffering at the time, BEFORE they have the chance to learn from a situation...I mean, depending on the situation, it could take a long time, right? A whole lifetime, even? If so, how does one cope until then...?

[Hydra]

Correct.

Now the amount of time, is a whole different story. Some people are stronger than others. (I, myself, am braced for every single scenario in my situation. And believe you me, it took a while.)

But it'd be a lot easier to invest time in getting a dire situation fixed than just giving up on the situation and hoping it goes away, or something of the sort. As long as it takes, if it's for you to learn, and NEVER get yourself in that situation ever again, then I'd say it's pretty much worth it, wouldn't you?

Knowing that, people choose to live on and cope, knowing the hardships on the way. Some people just live with the depression on their mind, wishing they knew what'd happen, but not knowing the bliss of being naive. Some people get hobbies, and just forget about it until it arises, and maybe by that time, they'll be ready to face it. Many things, really.

[Phoenix Flame]

Hey!!! > > I thought this was MY discussion?!?! :p J/K


You two bring up some really good points.

First off - Hydra...you bring up an invaluable misconception that we can all learn from - this is: What I don't know can't hurt me. As most of us know - what we don't know inevitably WILL hurt us. ESPECIALLY in relationships. The correct way of stating this should be

...What I don't know WILL hurt me.

Allow that to sink in, read it again - slower this time.

= 3

Faust - even if a situation is difficult - and you are in the midst of it. You WILL be a better person on the other end of it. IF you can muster-up enough strength to get through the trial. Furthermore: ***IF*** you choose to learn from your mistakes/trials/difficulties.

"How tall will a tree grow?" --------- As tall as it can! Why should human beings be any different? Because we have the power of choice to do or not to do so. = ( That's MY problem ATM (and I know it.) I know what I 'should' do - what I'd like to do and what I'm capable of doing in my life. Yet I'm lacking in the courage dept. >_> I kinda feel like Gogo XD Except I'm mimicking all the losers. ._.

>_< For God's sakes! I'm 26!!! 'Friggin grow up already'... right??? I know, I wish I could. Hmmm...maybe I need to hear a particularly personal story of triumph in the face of adversity....or someone surviving in the face of all odds to get me to say "WTF?!?! My life's not THAT difficult - I need to grow some balls and f***ing face the music and MOVE ON!!!"

:o

Sorry...was that over the top??? I can never tell. :S

[Hydra]

I never said you're immune to the hurt if you don't know buddy. :D

I just said you come out a better person if you take the hurt when it's first shown to you, rather than knowing of the hurt before it happens, and getting so caught up in thinking of how to prevent it, you DON'T prevent it.

Rarely anyone overthinks and actually does something about the problem,, if they're too busy thinking of a solution. :3

BTW, you contradicted what you said to me by speaking to Faust.

First off - Hydra...you bring up an invaluable misconception that we can all learn from - this is: What I don't know can't hurt me. As most of us know - what we don't know inevitably WILL hurt us. ESPECIALLY in relationships. The correct way of stating this should be

...What I don't know WILL hurt me.

Allow that to sink in, read it again - slower this time.

= 3

Faust - even if a situation is difficult - and you are in the midst of it. You WILL be a better person on the other end of it. IF you can muster-up enough strength to get through the trial. Furthermore: ***IF*** you choose to learn from your mistakes/trials/difficulties.
Read the bolded parts. Carefully.

You told me what I don't know WILL hurt me, correct? I imagine in Fausts situation(if I'm barging in your territory Faust, I'm ever so sorry), Faust didn't know of the problem, and it hit hard. Or maybe Faust knew some of it beforehand, and has nothing to heal, since it set in the mind before it happened.

What you don't know can hurt you, I know that. But what you do know, hell, that hurts more than not knowing. Not knowing, you don't expect it, and you can learn from it.

If you don't get it, I'll make it clear. If you know of the outcome before it happens, and it's bad, you don't want it, do you? You'll think of a way, ANY way to change it, and in doing that, you overthink something that should be as simple as tying your shoes. In which, you don't get anything done about it, because every single solution you think of has that little bit of doubt, and you don't follow through.

Whereas if you were unaware of the situation before, you never get the chance to second guess yourself, and you recover more quickly from the hurt.

[Luis]

Sorry, I just read the first reply to the thread... XD

It's cool to find new challenges! =D
That's the way to keep breaking your limits, as well as 'levelling-up' as the creator of the thread would say! ^^

[Phoenix Flame]

I didn't contradict meself = 3

All I said was that after a situation - as long as you come out on the other side, you typically come out a better person.

The part before that wasn't saying that YOU said you are immune or not - I was just clearing up that common misconception. The reason I said you brought it up was because of what you were talking about w/Faust about knowing-VS-not knowing something until it's too late. Either way: you're bound to get hurt...but I can understand someone saying that it hurts more if you find out after-the-fact...then it would seem like the damage done is greater than it would have been otherwise...

I dunno - maybe I'm only making sense to me, ask *Shadow Kat* <dun dun duuuuuuun> XD
She would know how confusing I can be sometimes. = 33

[Hydra]

I should know too.. @_@ *confused*

I also never said you should stay stupid the whole time. I was saying as the bad happens, you learn, and you have time to smarten up AS it happens. Not know it all before it does and just be uberly depressed because despite of your knowledge, it still happened.

So basically, we agree? :3

[Phoenix Flame]

I think (and I KNOW we agree) that yes, as the bad happens you *should* grow and learn...but also before-hand...try to grow and grow and grow - regardless of what's going on in your life - good or bad. = 3 This way, you're more prepared for (and hopefully can get around a lot of) the crap that life tends to throw you. = D

[Hydra]

Exactlehhh..

But most people think their situaton is the end of the world, and think they don't have the power to change anything. It's KIND OF sad, but not really, because you can't expect much of society anymore. ;_;

[Phoenix Flame]

I don't WANT to expect much from people anymore - I've been let down too many times.

I don't expect much from the government, I know SS won't be there in another 10-20 years.

I don't expect much from my friends - they have their own lives to lead and problems to survive through.

I don't expect much from my parents...I'll probably end up taking care of my mom until she passes.

I don't expect ANYTHING from my brother. He's the biggest loser I know.

I don't expect much from my sister (again - the whole life to live/problems to survive mentality.)

I don't expect much from my loved-one...that way I don't put my faith in someone too much to get my heart completely shattered.

Pretty much all that's left is me. = 3 I can make or break my future, my income, my wisdom, my LIFE...and THAT's scary = \

[Hydra]

I don't WANT to expect much from people anymore - I've been let down too many times.

I don't expect much from the government, I know SS won't be there in another 10-20 years.

I don't expect much from my friends - they have their own lives to lead and problems to survive through.

I don't expect much from my parents...I'll probably end up taking care of my mom until she passes.

I don't expect ANYTHING from my brother. He's the biggest loser I know.

I don't expect much from my sister (again - the whole life to live/problems to survive mentality.)

I don't expect much from my loved-one...that way I don't put my faith in someone too much to get my heart completely shattered.

Pretty much all that's left is me. = 3 I can make or break my future, my income, my wisdom, my LIFE...and THAT's scary = \
I'll tell you something right now. Don't EXPECT out of anyone. Expecting brings doubt, and disappointment if they aren't to your expectations. While it's good when they live up to them, any other time it goes wrong, you'll lose every single ounce of hope you had in them, due to you putting your expectations at a certain level.

I don't expect much of my girlfriend either, LOL. But I believe in her. I've put all of my belief in her, actually. I don't have a set in stone decision on what I'll do when she does what she needs to do, so I won't get hurt at all. Know why? I didn't expect her to make a right decision. She's just a normal human being too. She's not some kind of emotional and mental super hero. (I like to believe I am. ;]), but I'm not one either. Chances are, if everything goes wrong, I WILL be sad and depressed.

But this ALL ties in with what I've said in this topic. About knowing too much about the situation, and learning nothing from it. I've allowed myself to learn just so much about the situation, but not enough to see where the outcome is going. That's why I'm not learning anything now, but I'll forgive and forget(or rejoice :3) when the time comes. Know why? 'Cause I didn't expect it. I only believe she'll make the right decision for herself, and whatever decision she makes, is okay by me.

(BTW, if you already knew all of this, tell me why I had to type it all out..XD; )

[Phoenix Flame]

....um.........because I put a gun to your head and said "Type you ;cen"

:D That usually does it for me too.

[Hydra]

LOL, I guess that's another alternative.

[Phoenix Flame]

I'm gonna post more about this in the 'Level-up Your Life' thread - but Luis RLY helped me today. The narrow/difficult roads in my life are more mental than physical perse...and I'm gonna work hard to overcome those mental 'roadblocks.' I'm tired of excuses and am going to do my best to move forward.

...God help me.

[Doctor]

I'll tell you something right now. Don't EXPECT out of anyone. Expecting brings doubt, and disappointment if they aren't to your expectations. While it's good when they live up to them, any other time it goes wrong, you'll lose every single ounce of hope you had in them, due to you putting your expectations at a certain level.

I don't expect much of my girlfriend either, LOL. But I believe in her. I've put all of my belief in her, actually. I don't have a set in stone decision on what I'll do when she does what she needs to do, so I won't get hurt at all. Know why? I didn't expect her to make a right decision. She's just a normal human being too. She's not some kind of emotional and mental super hero. (I like to believe I am. ;]), but I'm not one either. Chances are, if everything goes wrong, I WILL be sad and depressed.

But this ALL ties in with what I've said in this topic. About knowing too much about the situation, and learning nothing from it. I've allowed myself to learn just so much about the situation, but not enough to see where the outcome is going. That's why I'm not learning anything now, but I'll forgive and forget(or rejoice :3) when the time comes. Know why? 'Cause I didn't expect it. I only believe she'll make the right decision for herself, and whatever decision she makes, is okay by me.

(BTW, if you already knew all of this, tell me why I had to type it all out..XD; )

Being gone for a while, I wish that I had gotten the chance to take part in most of what else has been said already. >> But now, I suppose, is my chance.

As for expecting things out of life...I suppose it's all the more true that if you try to expect only good things out of life, you'll only end up unhappier, because always hoping for something good to come along just unecessarily gets your hopes up, until you're at the point where if something happens that completely destroys all of that hope, the crushing disappointment is a hundred times more than it has to be. So, though I've expected great things out of my life and others more times than I can count, I know it's not always the best thing to do.

But WITHOUT hoping for anything at all can also be one of the worst things to do to yourself...if you never believed and expected anything special out of your talents, everyday things, then you would eventually give up on everything. If you never think that you can do better, or hope for your closest friends and family, then you won't ever get ANYTHING new out of life, or grow, because you wouldn't even want to try to hope for the best of everything and try to MAKE it happen for yourself, and for others. So, in short, you can't just expect for things to always happen and go your way, but if something DOESN'T work, then you've got to go out there and TRY to make it happen.

And, as for the topic earlier when i had questions on, say, wishing that I knew what would happen in a situation beforehand, so that I wouldn't make any mistakes, so that nothing would go wrong, blah blah blah meandmylittlerant.....I'm still going through some troubles where, if I had ONLY known, I know that I would be better off...(among other things....) but I'm just going to leave myself at this; 'there's nothing I can do about it NOW, so there's no use worrying over it anymore. I can cry and sob and get angry all I want, but it won't change anything. So I'm just gonna forget about it.'

XP

[Hydra]

Naturally, you expect things. You can't not expect a thing, or why bother even getting in the situation in the first place?

I'll make this longer when I go to sleep..I'll edit it, or just double post and merge it. =D

Either way, this'll be directed at:

And, as for the topic earlier when i had questions on, say, wishing that I knew what would happen in a situation beforehand, so that I wouldn't make any mistakes, so that nothing would go wrong, blah blah blah meandmylittlerant.....I'm still going through some troubles where, if I had ONLY known, I know that I would be better off...(among other things....) but I'm just going to leave myself at this; 'there's nothing I can do about it NOW, so there's no use worrying over it anymore. I can cry and sob and get angry all I want, but it won't change anything. So I'm just gonna forget about it.'

Why? If it's still troubling you, it's not exactly over yet. I can't tell you the definition of a "problem", but I'm certain if you're still dwelling over it, it's not gone. So you must still have time to do whatever's bothering you.

Knowing a tiny bit beforehand is great, but it'd only be a matter of time before you'd be confused, and you'd make yourself learn more of the problem. That's just human nature. There's not much anyone can do about that, unless you've done it before, and can control that urge to stay steady where you are. But that means getting involved in the process in the first place.

Besides, hope comes with belief. If not, you don't believe in it. You'd put hope in something you believe in, correct? If you believe you can really get over your situation, and keep yourself at a steady pace, there's nothing to worry about. Even if things go bad, it's only a matter of time where the opportunity just springs up, due to your long enduring of waiting, believing, and acting at the right times. Due to the reaction of receiving whatever information about the problem you needed when you really need it, rather than having it and having it become twisted, the situation may end up okay.

So, in other words.

With what I said, and what you said in your latest post, there's not a lot to worry about.

[Doctor]

Not a whole lot to worry about, eh?

Well, all i can say right now is that I guess it would just come straight down to believing and not believing...but you're right.

Learning about the problem, as well as analyzing and finding out what you can do as you go along, is better than already knowing beforehand.

I suppose I'll just leave it at that.

[Hydra]

All it comes down to now is if you can cope with it all.

I'm sorry if I made you confused. I seem to be doing that to a lot of people lately. @_@;

And the sad thing is, knowing all of this and more, I still can't get a grip on what's troubling me. XD

But oh well. It'll only be a matter of time before an opportunity comes up that lets me learn more of it. So I'm not too worried at all.

So now that that's done...anyone got anything else to talk about? ^^;