*
He sat quietly in the corner, never raising his eyes up from the cold, marble floor. The room was a mess of silence and gray, the only light coming from the orange embers of small makeshift fires. Though they knew that at dawn their castle would be burned, the men had lit their flames in the proper places, their respect for their home extending even unto their last night alive. For these men were extraordinary, and they laughed and sung even as the hours collapsed. They knew that they were doomed, and yet they acted as if it were any other time. For it was not fearlessness that made them great, it was the way they smiled even though their hands shook, and their stomachs ached with the pain of anticipation.
Her face aglow in the orange light, the small girl sat with her legs slightly pulled up in front of her. With her arms, she cradled her knees and with her eyes she stared down at the crimson scores which marred her skin. Along the tops of her feet, lay hatches of red- cuts from being dragged out of the field- while her wrists were black with bruises. She coughed aloud, and her ribs felt as if they were going to break; though the fire was before her, she still felt cold.
From behind her, she heard a man begin to play a strange instrument- probably his last possession in the world, if it was even his (for the castle store-room must have had plenty of things which the men could use to entertain themselves). She turned her head slightly and watched him, his blistered fingers holding an odd-looking stick delicately, before brushing it smoothly over taut strings. The sound was heavenly, and she watched him quietly from her corner, a solemnity hanging over the room.
We march for long
and traverse through a’flame
And still we sing that hopeful song
Till we see home again
Though night be long
And fog be thick as snow
We must be strong
And still our feet must go
For this is our land
And this is our call
Together we shall stand
Together we shall fall
For that while it did not matter who was who, or what everyone was called. General sat with militia, and militia sat with archer. For they were all men, and all souls, ready to face death in the morning with anxiously pounding hearts, and fists as strong as mountains.
Away from the fire, Malice sat in silence, bathed in shadow and cold upon the ancient stone. He stared at his hands- his bloody hands- and brought them over his face, hiding away from the world that he was sure saw him as the worst kind of murderer. He stayed like this for a while, until he felt a sudden warmth upon his shoulder.
Somewhere in the months that had passed, an unspoken understanding had grown. Though they never said so, both knew they had a connection, but had to keep it pressed away. There were more important matters, and even then a thin veil of uncertainty. But now that death seemed impassable, and eternity had opened its gluttonous mouth before them, the veil was pulled away and the thought of separation seemed all too cold.
Quietly, Titania sat down behind Malice and lay her cheek on his shoulder, placing her hand on his; her eyes did not see the blood which stained his fingers. There was silence for a while, until finally she muttered something un-intelligible. Still, he knew what she had said, and nodded in silence.
“Must you fight tomorrow?” she asked, quietly “Please….I think you can still leave- you have the power to do so… if you take arms tomorrow -”
“I can’t just leave.” He replied, never looking at her “These men… they have nowhere to go, so why should I? Besides…” he lifted his hand and stared at it “Whatever fate I receive is the decision of the gods. If it be my death tomorrow, then perhaps they mean to punish me.”
“I do not know what gods are present in this world, but I know that the ones of mine would not punish you with darkness. In these past few months, you have lived as a hero and shown true areté. Please, do not send yourself to a fate that you do not deserve.”
“Magus-”
“Magus died bravely. His wound was to the front and he had no choice in the matter.”
“You’re wrong…” Malice muttered, “He had a choice. He chose to fight, just as I have. I cannot send him to his death and then back away from that which he gave his life for. He was one of my greatest friends, and I cannot let him die without finishing what he started.”
“And what then? Once you destroy the demons here, what shall you do if you are still alive?”
Malice fell silent and turned his head away.
“You have to understand… I have responsibilities as a man- I am not some beast who watches his kin fall to pieces and runs away to hide in a den. Just as I am not a man who can live knowing that I have murdered my best friend. Both of these deeds are beyond my fathoming. Don’t you see? Trying to convince me is useless…my mind was made up from the time I was born.”
“…or perhaps even before then…
I…Llideah knew when Gadriel was going to his death. And still he did not believe her. You were foolish once, please do not be again!”
“What you see as foolishness is nothing more than conscience. You have to trust that I know what I’m doing.”
“How can I convince you to change your mind?”
He shook his head once more “You can’t. My mind is made up. Tomorrow I fight, and if I die, then it is with the knowledge that I have not blackened Magus’ memory.”
Titania was quiet for a while, but a question pressed at her lips, and finally emerged quietly, dripping in shame “…aren’t you afraid?”
He smiled slightly and shook his head, though his palms ached and his fingers trembled.
“Then why am
I afraid?” she asked “Everyone here…they’re all so brave. They know they’re going to die, and yet they smile and laugh. When that soldier pulled me away, I thought that that was the end, and I was afraid. I tried to be calm, but I was afraid. How can you so easily march up to death and not be frightened?”
He turned to face her, seeing the tears which wanted to spill from her eyes, but were held back by shame and stubbourness.
“There is nothing to be afraid of.” He said, taking her hand and placing it over the pendant which he still wore “You see…Phoenix watches.”
She felt the object, but more noticed the way in which his hand shook. She knew then that it was not only she who had come to fear death. He had as well, only he was better at disguising it. Slowly, she wrapped her fingers around his fist and smiled as best she could.
“You see,” she laughed, looking down “I’ve become like a child again. I was afraid when I came to a new world, and now that I’m going to another, I’ve become so once more.” She smiled, and raised her eyes “But that first time, you were there for me…and you’ve watched me since then. I know that sometimes I don’t seem grateful, and I act like I don’t need any help, but knowing you were there for me…it really did make all the difference. And now that we’re here, and it’s almost over… I just hope that you know how much you’ve meant… I think you were right about me finding my home...Malice- you're...you're my dearest... friend...”
She looked down, unsure if he would laugh at the way her words dripped with too much sentimentality. Moments passed as awkward hours, but soon she felt warmth on her temple as he rested his chin upon it, ignoring the way death slowly snaked around him as dark as a shadow. At the slightest touch, she brought her arms up and wrapped them around his back, coming closer and hiding in the warmth of his chest. As if it were a natural response, he too closed his arms around her, not shrinking back as her tears ran down his shoulder. He made no words of comfort for his friend, yet still the silence was enough, and it drew out her tears, coaxing them with the promise that they were not shameful. With small hands, she clung to him as if afraid at any time he would be snatched away and pulled into the abyss.
Life was nothing but the present; the past and future melted into nothingness.
For this is our land
And this is our call
Together we shall stand
Together we shall fall
The man repeated his song over and over, his notes filling the air and lulling the soldiers into a state of solemnity. Here they sat, the last of their kind- men who stood before the awaiting chasm of death, and showed no fear. For though the snow fell outside, they were warm in each other's company, and did not even notice.