*
“Malice, is something wrong?” Titania asked, following him up a flight of stairs.
“Nothing... and everything!” He replied, sighing, “I know I was a little harsh with that kid.”
“Kid? I think he’s older than me…”
“Doesn’t matter. I know I was harsh with him, but it’s just everything that’s going on here. I feel trapped in this thing, and with all this stress…it’s impossible!”
“I know things got hard on you after Nichi…anyways, I know things are hard for you. But why don’t you spread some of the pressure? We can’t do everything, but I know we can help. Just let us.”
Malice shook his head “There’s only so much you can do. And besides, if we have more than one person making the decisions, we’ll never get anywhere. Brain will want to fight without thinking, you’ll want to stay put, Belial will want to destroy the damn airship, and Magus…well I don’t know. He’ll want to do
something unproductive.”
Titania nodded, not arguing with anything.
“At least before I just did what I was told. It was tough, but I did a good job of it. Now I feel like if I make one wrong move, everyone will suffer.”
“No one will blame you if you make a mistake. Messing up is something everyone does.”
Malice shook his head “Everyone says they don’t blame you, but really they do.”
“
I won’t blame you.”
He laughed “You won’t
say you blame me. But how can you help it? Even I would blame me.”
Titania shook her head and laid a hand on his shoulder “We’re all behind you. We don’t want to see you fail. We only want to help.”
Malice stopped walking and sat down on the stairs, burying his face in his hands “I know that you all want to help, but there are things which I have to do alone. I can’t depend on you always.”
“And we can’t always depend on
you.” She sat down next to him “Malice, I know you have more responsibility than you used to- and you definitely have more to worry about than me. But that doesn’t mean that the rest of us don’t feel what you’re feeling. I can only speak for myself, but I think that we all know that anything we do can be critical for ourselves or someone else.”
“I know you mean what you say.” Malice said “But I don’t think you fully understand.”
“So explain, and
let me understand.”
“I’m trying to. But I don’t think anyone can really know until they’ve tried these shoes.”
Titania stared down at Malice’s feet.
“I don’t think they’ll fit.” She said, and smiled at him.
Malice forced a laugh when he saw how much she wanted to cheer him up, but still did not feel right.
“Thanks for talking with me…” he said, deciding it was the effort that counted.
Titania smiled, but could tell she had not improved his mood at all “Talking… I guess that’s all I can do to help?”
Malice nodded “I have to face these things alone. I know you don’t understand, but it’s true. I can’t let you all-“
“You
don’t have to protect us.”
Malice looked at her, and then down the hallway to where some of the others still slept.
“I
do have to. I can’t just decide I won’t. It’s not something I could do.”
“Well then let us protect you too. You shouldn’t have to take all of our pain. I know the others…well maybe not Belial…would give
anything to keep you safe.”
“You would?”
“Yeah. I would- I mean, we would.”
He smiled.
Realizing she was caught, she shrugged and decided she might as well give an explanation “Up until just now you’re the only one who actually cared about what happened to me. When I came here, you knew and cared about what I was going through, when all the others just thought to leave me alone and let me figure out the world for myself. I still remember when you followed me into town. And then during the trip to Gracia, you helped me so much. I wouldn’t have been able to do all I could if you hadn’t been there for me. I just feel like I owe you something.”
“You don’t owe me anything.” Malice shook his head.
“I do.” She persisted, and then got an idea “Here…”
A bit awkwardly, she unfastened a necklace which had become so much a part of her that the others hadn’t noticed it. Hanging off the silvery chain was a small coin, plated on one side with a glossy red material. Etched into it was the shape of a bird amidst a flame.
“This is an eidolon pendant. They say that when you wear it, the guardian whose image it bears will protect you.”
“So that’s Phoenix, then?” Malice asked.
“Right. You’re quick to pick up on these things!” Titania remarked, and stared at the object in her palm, suddenly realizing that she’d had that pendant since she was a baby.
“You don’t have to give it to me…” he said, noticing that she was slow to part with the object.
“No, no. You need it more than me. Phoenix has already saved me twice. Now it’s your turn.”
Silently, Malice lowered his head and let her place the chain over it, so that it fell and rested on his neck.
“It suits you.” Titania said.
“But now you seem like you’re missing something.” Malice commented.
She stared downward, trying to see where her necklace used to sit.
“It’s fine.” She said “It’s better that my collar looks bare than you go wandering unprotected. At least this way, even when you have to deal with things yourself, Phoenix can help you.”
“Thanks.” Malice said, fingering the necklace “It means a lot.”
Titania smiled “You really mean that?”
“I do.” He said “It’s good to know I’m not as alone as I thought.”
“You want to be even less alone?” she asked
Malice nodded.
“You should probably apologize to Brain then. Or at least coax an apology out of him!”
“Naw.” Malice said, “Tough guys like me don’t apologize. I’ll just be nicer to him later and it’ll be over.”
“Are you sure?” asked Titania, laughing at the title her friend had given himself.
“I’m sure!” Malice answered, with a bit of a smile “Leave this one to me.”
Titania had a bit of a smirk on her face “I suppose that I could…but just this once...only because you’re my friend and I don’t particularly hate you.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Malice laughed.
“So you’re feeling better?”
“I’m feeling better.”
“Next time don’t take it out on others, ok? It’s not their fault that you have so many troubles”
“Alright.” Malice answered, finding that she had the irritating ability of saying things which would normally make him angry, in a way that was impossible to argue with.
“I’m going to make sure Belial hasn’t unmade Brain, or the other way around.
I think that Magus and Glenn are up on the top of the deck, maybe you should go tell them about where we’re going.”
“Ok. We’ll meet outside in 15 minutes, alright? Make sure the others are there. And none of those shooting things.”
“I’ll try my best.” Titania answered as she descended the stairs.
Looking upward at the outer door, Malice rose to his feet and made his way to the deck, deciding he would pay Magus and Glenn a visit.