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Old 07-08-2005, 08:59 AM   #1
 
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The Burned Cat Lady

If you read the newsposts on 8-Bit Theater, you'll already know about this, but if not, I'm here to tell you of one of the biggest internet scams to date.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet, Trustworthy Burned Cat Lady
I'm...wow. I have no idea what to do with myself.

Apparently, as we left for the movie tonight, we held the door open too long and Schro got out. We didn't notice, being as we suck at pet parenting.

After the movie, we're sitting in Denny's talking to some friends of his. My cell goes off. I can't hear crap, so I tell them I'll call them back in a minute and go outside.

Apparently, someone got hold of him and set him on fire. His rear end, though he got badly burnt all the way up to his shoulders, and his ears are singed.

So, we rushed home. My dad spent the whole mile and a half talking about how it's already too late and it's too bad and at least we still have Taki. Which resulted in me screaming at him. We got here, met the person who heard the screaming and someone laughing and saw the flames (whoever it was apparently extinguished him after a minute or so) and had the guts to touch him to read his collar tag. The lady whose husband maintains the pool, actually. She had him in a towel and took him to the only vet clinic we called that was open today.

I don't actually know what they did, but he's apparently going to be okay. He's burnt bad, but everything's whole, and they're keeping him sedated. I don't know where I'm going to get the $5,000, since my dad has informed me he's not paying it, but I don't give a shit really. I must have something I can sell.

Yeah. I don't have any words. It's just as well for whoever did this, really, and for my sense of self, as I try not to be a vengeful person. I always tell my father that we won't let him out around Halloween because people are fucktards...what is it that made me think people would wait for Halloween? I guess any old holiday will do.

Yeah, going to go flip a shit now.

EDIT: This has got to be some kind of fucked-up nightmare. Please wake up. Schro never scratches or bites, not even when you grab him in an awkward way. He just lays back in your arms and tilts his chin up for scritches. And purrs. Why? What's the point of hurting something weaker than you are, of hating a creature of pure love?

EDIT 2: Because I'm only just now gathering enough I.Q. points to think to edit this post...the financial situation is taken care of now. I thank all of you for your incredible generosity and loving-kindness, and am happy to report that much is no longer a worry. Please, just send prayers and positive energy now. All is well. Any donations from this point forward will either be refunded as per the benefactor's request, or used as reward money in finding the perpetrator. THANK YOU!
So this lady posts this on her LiveJournal. News gets around very quickly (even to Nuklear Power) and everyone flocks to her PayPal site to donate money for her $5000 bill.

Read it over a few times. Anything seem odd? Y'know, how her cat is in the hospital and she has time to write a fifteen-page article on the burning? I'll link at the end of my post, but she also took the time to respond to about 90% of the comments people are leaving her about how sorry they are. There were a LOT of comments about it.

Anyway, so this person's friend begins to IM her, and they have a conversation where the cat lady becomes increasingly defensive because her friend suspects that she may be lying. She suddenly finds $12,000 worth of rare paintings in her closet and decides to refund all the money, the entire time never giving any proof that her cat was burned or that it's at the vet, when her friend actually called the vet it was taken to to ask if they ever took the cat - they hadn't. So, after a flame war that extends across many LiveJournals about who's right, who's wrong, who has more proof, who's being irrational, etc., the lady with the cat finally posts this on her LiveJournal only a few days later:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lying, Conniving, Idiotic Burned Cat Lady
I believe this has gone quite far enough, so I shall now explain myself.

My cat was not set on fire. That is the important thing to know here- though such things have happened in this neighborhood, neither he nor I was so unfortunate. I'm sorry to all of you who were hurt by this, who cried, who were deeply worried, who were angered, who gave up things big and small to support me. I never intended any harm, and that is about the best I can say for myself- it does not excuse my behavior.

From here, you have the option of being extremely angry with me without listening to my reasoning. If you'd care to hear it, please read on.

I long ago ceased to be cynical about human beings. I believe we are a well-meaning, essentially good species with the capacity for endless love and compassion, and that we're born with a depth of empathy that living life in an individual-focused world tends to beat out of us over time. However, I also believe there are many more loving, compassionate, empathetic people out there than most people give our species credit for.

In this case, I'm referring to my family. I recently attended a family reunion where I received the usual ribbing about my making friends with people I've never met face-to-face and probably never will. My father in particular was astonished and disbelieving of the way so many people had pulled together to help the kitten [info]anjimito rescued from the freeway recently- not only could he not believe that the whole thing wasn't a hoax, but to him the idea of putting that much money and effort into one small life was ridiculous.

So, I proposed an experiment. Something that we personally could control, that would prove my point about at least large parts of humanity beyond a shadow of a doubt. It is important to add that he did not agree to this- all my actions therein were mine and my own. I told myself that if I could raise even half of the $5,000 imaginary vet bill, I would sell my three Thomas Kinkade lithographs (I have pictures of them, for those of you who are skeptical of that also) and donate all the proceeds to the SPCA in the name of all the people who helped restore his faith in humanity.

He really did cry. I've only seen him do that once or twice in his life.

The experiment was a success. I clearly did not accurately estimate the amount of backlash, however- that was very stupid of me, as was not thinking out the long-term social consequences of this entire thing. I know most, if not all people, will see this as a scam despite my intentions. I would never have dreamt of spending all that money on myself, though, and thanks to PayPal fees it's going to cost me a good $100 extra, a minor financial burden I bear gladly. If you wish to file police charges against me for my actions, I will provide my information and accept the criminal penalties as punishment for my thoughtlessness.

Beyond everything else, it has been proven that at least in this sector of the world, humans are very good people.

To those of you who believed me, I'm sorry for not telling you the truth immediately. I was afraid you would be rightfully indignant and blow my cover. To those of you who didn't believe me, I'm sorry for defending myself so vigorously.

I'm not going to leave it at this- there will be the said donation to the SPCA, and also letters to the Dallas Morning News, Star-Telegram, and any other wide-circulation newspapers anyone suggests.

I want to clear up a few misconceptions:
-"At least I'm not on fire" was not intended as humor. It's a catchphrase for me throughout life, really- no matter how bad it is, even if you're dying of it, you're at least lucky not to be on fire.
-None of the money donated will be spent. I had at one point considered giving it directly to the SPCA, but vetoed that as that would still be fraud.
-I do not expect forgiveness or even any kind of acceptance. Just please, no mail bombs.

It's important for everyone to realize that [info]manhattan and [info]hangedwoman supported me out of good faith- I ordinarily am a very private person who only rarely pulls stunts, and never anything on this scale before. So please do not lower your opinion of them, or anyone else who defended me- it was my deceptiveness that colored the entire situation.
So the first villain was the person who "burned the cat" which never actually happened. The second was the friend who first found evidence that this was a lie (insults galore directed at this friend). The final villain ended up being the lady herself, who only did this as a grand "psychological experiment".

I now give you the links to the various LiveJournals, etc. that made up this thing:

OH NO MY CAT IS BURNED!
OH CRAP NOW THERE'S EVIDENCE I LIED! I'M GOING TO BE ALL INDIGNANT TOWARDS MY FRIEND WHO IS RIGHT!
BETTER COVER MY ASS NOW!

I leave with these words of wisdom from Nuklear Power:

"As you've probably heard by now, the burned cat lady is a liar.

Sorry for caring about cats, guys. Long time readers know Lydia and I have gone out of our way to help local cats, and we've rescued at least one stray -- who now lives very comfortably with my parents, thanks -- and we have done so, in part, thanks to the generosity and understanding of 8BT readers. And now that ability to help animals in genuine need -- in genuine danger -- has been drastically diminished.

Way to go, you worthless bitch.

Oh, her line about this being some 'experiment'? Yeah, that's Crazy for, 'Oh shit, I need a bigger lie to cover up my first lie.'"
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Old 07-19-2005, 12:27 AM   #2
 
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Re: The Burned Cat Lady

In all honesty, there's not much you can say but, "caught ya!"
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Old 09-23-2005, 06:46 PM   #3
 
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Re: The Burned Cat Lady

Stupid person. Also, her apology was a load of dung. What a lame excuse. And even if it was true, it was harsh and completely dishonest. Not a good way to go around being a person. What did she mean, " I meant to cause no harm?" Now you aren't. How about before? Stupid thing to do.
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