A past relationship (& current struggle.)
 

I just found out that my ex has been doing rather well. She's still speaking publicly: reaching out to her community to educate people about mental illness...the Chicago Tribune even wrote up an article on her. O_O

...anyway; I sometimes want to talk with her and see how she's doing. Its been nearly two years since we ended our relationship. If any of you know me well - you know that it was rocky (at best.) Still, I can't help but want to put the past behind us and be (distant) friends. I don't want to just barge back into her life and be like 'Hi. I want to be friends. I hear you're doing well. WTFs going on? o_O' Y'know?? So: how, or should I even try, to contact her? Was thinking about sitting-in on one of her speeches, sending a text or a letter (although I don't like the idea of a letter) or possibly even an e-mail. What are your thoughts?

Re: A past relationship (& current struggle.)
 

gee..

lookz weird havin teh wize guy o'the forum askin fo' help, a'ight, srsly:

i dunno, IMHO, odds r really against it PF! first there's the past between u guyz, then it's up to youz if u really wanna b "just friends", coz otherwise u might endup hurtin the both of u n who knows who else; not sure what ur current status iz, but if u got a fiancee id say definetively consult her too, or at least let her know what u're thinkin.

i just cleared the situation from mah POV, thought i wont advise u for it or against it (real helpfull i know!) n im doin that coz im not a pshychic + i wouldnt wanna screw up what i dont know enough about + it's all up to u in the end!

but i'll say this; it's a VERY delicate matter (past, fiancee, n so on) so if u'll go ahead with it then be REALLY sensitive & non imposing about it!

that's teh best i can come up with, so GL :p

edited: or better yet here's a thought; if u're gonna be friends again -even if distant ones- there'll be lots o'stuff u'll need to get over n handle im sure so just ask urself this before goin forth with it: "Can I handle this? is it worth it? can SHE handle it too? -well that one u can ask her- can EVERYBODY ELSE handle it?"

THEN u make that decision ;)

Re: A past relationship (& current struggle.)
 

Yarrrrr.

<3

Gotta be weary of that, friend. Just be sure all of your feelings towards her of "man and woman" love are gone. (Or at least buried inside so no one can see. xD) Though the first option would be best.

You haven't talked to her any in two years, since your break up? It'd be nice to catch up with her, so go for it. But you know how it goes. Get reminded of old times, etc. It might hurt, y'know? But that's what stuffing your feelings is for.

x3

But, seriously. Naturally, you might reminiscence, either in your head or openly. As long as you keep it casual and friendly, there's really no problem with it. And you have to take her into account to this too, but you know that. Would she want to be your friend after all this time? And if so, for how long? BFF, 4lyfe? =D

The pros and cons are easy to see, but overall, the pros kind of overweigh the cons. But the cons'll have a bad effect should they take place.

It's always nice to have another friend though. Go for it? Say you saw her in the paper, go to a meeting, catch up a little, go from there?

Gogogogogog. Funn.

Re: A past relationship (& current struggle.)
 

I agree with what has already been said. As long as those romantic feelings are completely gone, I don't see why you shouldn't pursue a friendship. Then again, you said you had a fiancee, right? If you love her that much that you're willing to spend the rest of your life with her, then there really shouldn't be an issue because she's the one you want, even if some old feelings for your ex pop up unexpectedly. I mean, I believe things happen for a reason. You and your ex broke up because you were meant to be with your fiancee?

Nothing wrong with getting reacquainted and making a new friend. Friends are life's gift as an apology for family. XD

Always remember if you start to feel things heating up between you and your ex, run. Run before you end up on Maury. Don't question it, just run.

That's my two cents....

I'm dead ass serious, run and get the hell outta dodge.

:)

Re: A past relationship (& current struggle.)
 

XDD; Thanks guys. And yeah, before I did anything I would have to tell my fiancee. =p That's just the way it is.

Re: A past relationship (& current struggle.)
 

Of course. =X

Send her an email...keep it friendly, and you should be just fine. (Everyone else has just given you good advice, so I don't have a lot to say. =P )

Re: A past relationship (& current struggle.)
 

Yups, yups.

Thanks all. I still don't know if I'm going to act on my thoughts/feelings, but you have given me a few things to think over... <3