Maturity in relationships...

[Phoenix Flame]

A good friend of mine and I were talking about relationships and the topic of (older person) + (younger person) = bad idea/jail time came up...

My question (and the reasoniopenedthetopic) is: Why should/shouldn't the government decide what a 'mature' age is for people?

...more specifically I suppose is: What is maturity and when do you think it is ok for young person to date?

I have mixed feelings on this topic for a couple of reasons....but I digress.

What do you think REAL maturity is and when should that maturity be exercised in the dating realm?

 

[dappa]

Thats a tricky one there. I hate the governemnt deciding what we can do and not do.

I think some people are more mature than others and should be able to date a little younger but then again the government imposes these rules to protect less mature individuals who could be vulnerable to unsrcupilous individuals.

I also think that girls mature earlier than men

 

[Hydra]

I disagree with that Dappa.

I started to mature a little bit TOO early. Like, after a drastic event occured when I was, oh I dunno, twelve years old. It sucks to understand things you're supposed to be too young to understand, but with that, you take knowledge and understanding and handle it better. So I guess it can't be all TOO bad.

Me and Anna have had a bumpy road so far, for a lot of reasons. Actually, she's turning me into a Christian, and I'm not sure she realizes it. Sure, I believe in God and all, but I never abided by the way they are, because I'm fixated on being myself, and not converting to be the same as everyone else. But it shows individuality, and at the same time, being one with each other. It's odd, and I dunno how to approach it, no matter how much maturity or smarts I have.

That's great. Grand. Good. I'm not supposed to know what I know, let alone everything. I don't know eveything, and I'm glad I don't. Life would be too easy. Relationships would be too straightforward. 'Ja see, Anna is younger than me. Two years, actually. And if I were eighteen and she were sixteen, it wouldn't make a bit of a difference how much love I have for her, and how sure I am that this relationship is going to last for the rest of my life.

If you feel all of these things, then you shouldn't give a damn about the rules. If you both believe it's right, and you're on the right path in life, then I guess a little risk wouldn't hurt. That's what we're doing, and while we're having a little seperation anxiety for not realizing the right path sooner, we'll get over it. Together. She's younger than me, and I'm not sure if she knows it, but she's the mature one in the relationship. She looks to me for everything because I'm so smart (and handsome, secksy, and cool. ;]]), but she ultimately makes the decision in all the important conversations we have about our lives. It seems that I do, but she just gets ideas from me and makes the big plan.

Now if we can do that, in our YOUNG adult age, who says teens can't do it? There's no age set on maturity, no matter how many people say there are. You could understand human emotion at ten years old, if you tried hard enough. The government is looking inside the box, not the outside. They're thinking, "z0mg, forty year old with a twenty year old? Eww. They wouldn't understand each other at all. Let's ban it ", when they're oh so wrong. People can be happy with each other, despite the age group. Lust, Avarice, and infatuation make people believe they love something when they don't, and that's the main problem with society.

That's why I know when I want something, you've gotta strive for it, and work for it. I don't love her for her body (but woooow. =D). Nor for her face. I love her for her, and I wouldn't change anything about her, even though she pokes fun at herself, because she's over worried about her figure. It's cute, actually. But enough about that. ^_~

That's my opinion. If you're happy, and you KNOW it's right, age shouldn't matter.

/Rambling.

 

[Phoenix Flame]

Hmmm...

Interesting thoughts Jake. Perhaps you'll listen to my imput.

1) Don't conform to a religion - seek God first. Something down in my core confirms that religion does more harm than good. (See Osama) I was brought up Baptist and - when I became an adult - I left and went to a non-denominational church. When a congregation is teaching something that isn't in the Word of God...leave as fast as you can. (Also see: RCC and the rampant scandels and sexuality acted-out on young children by the very priests who are supposed to protect them.)

2) He didn't come to assimilate us - but to set us free to be who we were meant to be: our own person and having a personal and intimate relationship with the Father through communion with the Son. To support this point, the apostle Paul compares the body of Christ (the true church made up of his disciples - not a building made by man) to the human body. "If the ear was to say to the eye 'I'm not an eye,' it would not - for that purpose - cease to be apart of the body." God also gives his sons and daughters spiritual gifts that are unique and are meant to achieve a specific purpose....so I hope you don't feel like you are being 'made' something you weren't before...if that's the case, I would recommend you examine your relationship - or lack thereof - with God.
"You will never have a true self until you have first surrendered yourself to Him." - Quote from C.S. Lewis I think. = \

3) I'm very happy for you two! = D~

Edit: BTW, I'm not saying you shouldn't go to church - only that it should be one that teaches what's in the Bible. Check for yourself to see what their doctrines are and see if that matches up with what's in God's Word....specifically, what they say about: salvation, baptism, communion and the divinity of Christ/Holy Spirit.

 

[Doctor]

I think you should be able to love someone no matter what the age. At least, no matter what the age beyond 13 or 14. For instance, if I was to be dating a 20 year old, and I'm16, I think it should be okay. There isn't THAT much of an age gap, an you shouldn't always have to worry about getting raped by someone who's older than you. Bt here should still be some limits--I don't think that I could date a 40 year old, for instance.

People grow to their own maturity at different ages, on the inside. I honestly think that's just what matters most in a relationship...other than the loving and caring and doing anything for the person you love. ;}

But this is a difficult question, and I can't really say for sure...there are people who are concerned for safety in a relationship as well, especially if it's with someone older than yourself. But what I just mentioned above is all I can really say right now. I don't know enough to have a proper say in things like this, and all i can do is dish out petty opinions. But that's just what i think. :3

 

[Cloud101]

I see what you mean, my Tessa is almost 3 years younger than me, and in allot of ways she is more mature than me, so it works out fine, besides, I dont care how old she is, I still love her the same. I personaly feel that the age difference doesn't exist, I wouldn't love her differently if she was the same age as me, my love would be the same. Our age diff. causes some problems with her parents, but they like me ok. I mean I'm about to be 18 dating a 15 year old , it doesn't matter to me, bet some people would look down on it.


But on the other hand, as blackstar said, there needs to be some restrainment, I mean if she was 13 and I was 20 I would see the doubt, and I would wait for her to be older to move into a relationship, I mean, we would live in two different worlds, I would be in college, and she would be in 7th grade, it would create many problems. So I think there should be some age restraint, just not too much.

 

[Shinra Soldier 1]

I really don't understand where the maturity laws came into play myself, but I think they are in place so people are out of school and able to make the decisions affecting the rest of their lives. Like a previous poster, the laws are in place to protect immature people from making bad decisions causing: unwanted pregnancies, emotional damage, physical pain, etc.