Spam

[Avathar]

Scene: A cafe. One table is occupied by a group of Vikings wearing horned helmets. Whenever the word "spam" is repeated, they begin singing and/or chanting. A man and his wife enter. The man is played by Eric Idle, the wife is played by Graham Chapman (in drag), and the waitress is played by Terry Jones, also in drag.

Man: You sit here, dear.
Wife: All right.
Man: Morning!
Waitress: Morning!
Man: Well, what've you got?
Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam...
Waitress: ...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam...
Vikings: Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.
Wife: Have you got anything without spam?
Waitress: Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
Wife: I don't want ANY spam!
Man: Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?
Wife: THAT'S got spam in it!
Man: Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam... (Crescendo through next few lines...)
Wife: Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?
Waitress: Urgghh!
Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like spam!
Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up!
Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam.
Wife: I don't like spam!
Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam!
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man: Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress: You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!

 

[Squall Leonhart]

Thank You

 

[Arkacia]

Spam also has other definitions. For example...

fdesa sjkli - Don't laugh, I've deleted plenty of posts with little more than random letters.

Very short posts that add nothing to the thread, for example just saying things like "I agree" "thats right" "hear hear" ect. If a post doesn't add something to the thread, then it doesn't deserve to stay up and a mod will probably delete it.

Putting the same post in mulitple threads.

Off topic and/or chit chat posts can be considered spam too.

When I first started moderating and asked what spam actually was, an experienced super mod told me "if its not worth the time taken to read it, its spam". Thats a very good way to tell spam from a decent post.

 

[Squall Leonhart]

Is just saying Thank You spam ?

 

[Arkacia]

It depends on why you said it. In this threads case, no, because you are simply being polite after having your question answered .

 

[Squall Leonhart]

Thank you and does spam slow down your computer or this forum?

 

[Squall Lionheart]

My guess would be yes.......

 

[Arkacia]

It doesn't slow down you comp, except maybe for the fact your comp has to take time to open the spam posts, like it would any other post. It does waste Shaggy's bandwidth space though.

Spam is another name for rubbish. A spam post isn't worth the time taken to read it, and it just clutters up the forum. There is nothing worse than trying to read an interesting thread, but having to wade through spammy posts that add nothing to it.

 

[richboywonder]

ok,i'm confused there's people talking about spam like double post spam and spam that you eat.which one are we talking about.

 

[Da Chink]

ok,i'm confused there's people talking about spam like double post spam and spam that you eat.which one are we talking about.

^ this would be an example of spam...plz study it and review it.

now back on topic...i think that the fact that you added the Spamtastic forum is a good addition to the site in the reduction of spam...but i think i am going to make a suggestion thread for another addition of the same sort if u dont mind

 

[Zeromus_X]

I think they were joking about both of them, richboywonder.

Anyway, this is a pretty old thread, and you can find out what spam is from Arkacia's post and the forum rules....so...

*spam*

er..

*closed*