Your Funniest Quote

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Sage
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To celebrate my return let's all post the funniest quotes you ever know and have a good laugh i'll start the honour with these :D (and pray that you like'm before i get banned :o !):


-I guess you're not the guy I'm looking for!

...................

And I meant that in angry way not....gay
-....ok
-So BITE ME, SCREW YOU, and KISS MY @$$!

A man is tied to a lie detector with his employee test asking question:
- Do you like me?
- Absolutely! My favourite employee
BUZZZZZZZZZ
What?...it's not like I'm not going to give you a raise!
BUZZZZZZZZZ
This isn't true, your future can't be that bad in this company!
BUZZZZZZZZZ
Well everyone gets a break and so will you!
BUZZZZZZZZZ
OH, will you please take this thing off me! I'd rather wear a dress and stroll down
a harbor full of leering sailor men...
...........
See! its broken, now take it off! I don't deserve this kind of treatment!
BUZZZZZZZZZ
 
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FINE!!!!
It's NOT to celebrate my return!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;shr
 
Sorry I can't think of any right now. When I do then I post it.
 
You came back?

:confused:

Oh well... XD

"'Paper Jam'...? Why does it say 'Paper Jam' when there is no paper jam...I swear - one day I'm going to kick this piece of ;cen right out the window." - Office Space, Guy who's name no one can pronounce. XD
 
Here's some stuff from the Drew Carry show:

Drew's boss:"Have a good flight.......into a mountain"

Drew :"Man! Imagine a man getting an arrow pull out of his ;cen ! Can't imagine a worst feeling than this!"
*Opens door to find Mimi*
"Oh here it is!"

Mimi:"Just keep your hands to yourself!"
*Drew looks at his hands*"Don't worry i would never do that to you!"

Mimi:"Sir, here's your meeting schedule, the report you asked for, and i took the liberty to
reserve a massage session for you"
*Drew expecting a prank*"A massage session? You expect me to believe that I'm gonna lie around naked and nothing is gonna happen to me?"
Mimi:"When did it that ever change?"

"To show you her appreciation, Sally promises from now on to give you more believable excuses to not go out with you"
*Drew looks behind him and sees Sally*:"She's alive!!!"

It was an nice episode! :D
 
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(at an arcade with Kite)
Me-Yeah I got the high score
Kite-At least until the power goes out
 
Some more Drew Carry Show!

Drew's basement is drowning in water
Drew: "Oh damn! My baseball glove, my family photo album, my grandma's only pic......
Luis:"Hey Drew your dad's old playboys!"
*Drops everything back in the water*"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

*Woman on date turning Drew down*"Well, Drew.....you're a real.."
Drew:"Dont say im a nice guy"
Woman:"..Pain in the @$$"

Drew, Oswald and Luis see Drew's neighbour entering his backyard with a horse
Neighbour:"Hey Drew!"
Drew:"Hey neighbour! I have a question for you! what has four legs, attracts flies and is standing in my backyard!"
Neighbour:"............Oswald and Luis!"
Drew:" Yeah, well what eats while standing........."
*looks behind him at Oswald and Luis then turns back to neighbour* "Well what has the brain size of......."
*looks back again at Oswald and Luis* "What smells like AH forget it!" (:D)

Drew's neighbour wants to buy his house to put his horse in it
Drew:"What? I'm not sellin my house so u can put ur horse in it, it's not a barnyard!"
neighbour:"could be if we clean it up a lil!"

Amy:" We can't afford that!"
Drew:"We can put all our money together to buy a gun to rob a bank!"

From a play about some poor people!<Not a Drew Carry episode>
Fouad:"Wtf are you carrying man?"
Hanafy:"Was walkin around.....found a big gathering of people in front of a gouvermental office, I asked if they were giving out stuff but people said no......after going inside I found they've been handing out Chickens and good Meat........

I came out with 7 kilos of cucumber!"

Same Play of the poor people:

Hanafy:"Fawzeya! Take me back!"
Fawzeya:"Alright! But rent me a stretch taxi to take me home!.....26 seater!"
Hanafy:"..........
I rented a chariot with a donky and another one driving him, it has 2 seats and THAT'S what you're taking!" *leaves the appartment*
Fouad:"Fawzeya,my daughter....take care of Hanafy....give him his prestige in front of other people like your mother did with me!
..........TRUE she took it back once we got home but...."
*Hanafy's voice interupting from downstairs*:"FAWZEYAAAAAAAAA!!!! C'MON!
THE DONKEY'S COUNTING"
 
Inigo Montoya: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father prepare to die.

Yuffie: What I don't get it!
Cid: This is man talk!
Yuffie: SEXIST! SEXIST! <--- It's funny because I can sound like Yuffie when she dose it!

Loz: *when they are the cliff and Yazoo and Loz go after Cloud* VROOOM!
 
John Smith: 05*85263+8912036+9841283
Slider: ?
John Smith: LOL, SORRY
John Smith: i WAS CLEANING THE KEYBOARD
John Smith: ooops, caps!
Slider: !!!!!!!!!!
 
Slider said:
John Smith: 05*85263+8912036+9841283
Slider: ?
John Smith: LOL, SORRY
John Smith: i WAS CLEANING THE KEYBOARD
John Smith: ooops, caps!
Slider: !!!!!!!!!!
Click to expand...

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!! XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
 
reasoniamalive: yo quiero taco bell :p
JAS: xD
JAS: go
JAS: run
reasoniamalive: for
JAS: you might still catch it open! xD
reasoniamalive: :eek:
reasoniamalive: ORLY?!?!
JAS: xD
JAS: I dunno
reasoniamalive: naw...they close @ 3am
JAS: awwwwww
JAS: xD
reasoniamalive: don't know what time they open... but who wants mexican in the morning :confused:
 
(one day at an arcade)
"Yeah dude I got the high score"-Blackstar
"At least until the power goes out"-Logan

(Logan on smoke grenades of call of duty 3)
"Man those things are fun but they totally give away your position"-Logan
 
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