There once was a man named John. He ate soup, but it wasn't any ordinary soup. It was POWER SOUP. It gave John magical super powers, those that rivaled Superman, only minus the kryptonite. He was invincible! But, alas, the soup digested, and he lost some of his powers. Then he thought to himself, if he goes away forever, he'll be human again! So, he made an odd and vague decision. He never pooped again. Doing so, he got very very irritated. So, the president set a fake rescue to send him to the moon, and the rocket imploded, thus the explosion made him poop that soup out, and a giant planet of poop was formed.
Yes, please don't ask. I'm very tired, so I had to do something to get hyper.